02
May 13
May 13
no matter how much you think you love somebody, you’ll step back when the pool of their blood edges up too close.
28
Apr 13
Apr 13
Nothing of me is original. I am the combined effort of everybody I’ve ever known.
Nothing of me is original. I am the combined effort of everybody I’ve ever known.
Nothing of me is original. I am the combined effort of everybody I’ve ever known.
Nothing of me is original. I am the combined effort of everybody I’ve ever known.
Nothing of me is original. I am the combined effort of everybody I’ve ever known.
Nothing of me is original. I am the combined effort of everybody I’ve ever known.
10
Apr 13
Apr 13
“I have a pack of letters,
I have a pack of memories.
I could cut out the eyes of both.
I could wear them like a patchwork apron.
I could stick them in the washer, the drier,
and maybe some of the pain would float off like dirt?
Perhaps down the disposal I could grind up the loss.
Besides – what a bargain – no expensive phone calls.
No lengthy trips on planes in the fog.
No manicky laughter or blessing from an odd-lot priest.
That priest is probably still floating on a fog pillow.
Blessing us. Blessing us.
Am I to bless the lost you,
sitting here with my clumsy soul?
Propaganda time is over.
I sit here on the spike of truth.
No one to hate except the slim fish of memory
that slides in and out of my brain.
No one to hate except the acute feel of my nightgown
brushing my body like a light that has gone out.
It recalls the kiss we invented, tongues like poems,
meeting, returning, inviting, causing a fever of need.
Laughter, maps, cassettes, touch singing its path -
all to be broken and laid away in a tight strongbox.
The monotonous dead clog me up and there is only
black done in black that oozes from the strongbox.
I must disembowel it and then set the heart, the legs,
of two who were one upon a large woodpile
and ignite, as I was once ignited, and let it whirl
into flame, reaching the sky
making it dangerous with its red. “
09
Apr 13
Apr 13
08
Apr 13
Apr 13
28
Mar 13
Mar 13
“There is no chance, no destiny, no fate, that can circumvent or hinder or control the firm resolve of a determined soul.”
16
Mar 13
Mar 13
I might be everything you need.
You might be the same for me.
We got out fast, burning at both ends.
Listen to this song : The Only Moment We Were Alone
10
Mar 13
Mar 13
“To get back to “long ago.”To yourself on a winter night
freezing in a thin red coat,and then a little lamp glass of
whiskey at your bedside. And the telephone ringing, always
there monitoring, as if it were your mother and father with
their outraged, punitive screams.You go like a thief to these
assignations with someone who belongs to another, or atleast
does not belong to you,you go slipping in the dark, groping
about, critically sighing.You go in like a thief and always
leave or are left as the robbed, thinking to look for your fake
diamond pin in its old box, check the liquor cabinet, open
the window and demand from the fleeing one the return of
your new radio.”
-passage from Sleepless Nights by Elizabeth Hardwick
03
Mar 13
Mar 13
“You can’t deal with my pain with this snow. Wits in the making. Another emotion.”
I can’t wait to see them live.
02
Mar 13
Mar 13
I need to be demagnetized.
Girl, Guy, Social Media, I don’t like being under an animal.
It’s not life.
FITTING
02
Mar 13
Mar 13
“Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.”
I am sorry.
25
Feb 13
Feb 13
I puked in a cab, so I gave him a 25% tip.
Then I started doing contours of bag ladies
and listening to mewithoutyou simultaneously thinking
about how wrong people read me.
Then I pictured myself as a lion and that was cool.
Then I thought I lost my grandpa’s ring. I didn’t
24
Feb 13
Feb 13
“I feel the skin that separates us, start to fade
And when I lie on top of you, I’m afraid
I can see right through myself, crystal clear
I am disassembling
I could disappear, disappear”
21
Feb 13
Feb 13
Well fuck. This is so fucked.
Deep not so deep discussions on loan shit.
18
Feb 13
Feb 13
Inspiration came from drying out my hair even more and getting pissed off about reptiles.
“Like water, on the dry wood
equal parts misguided and misunderstood
but all the neighborhood
watched a fire burn from where they stood
as the smoke said
“we’re not half as bad as God is good”
still there’s a whisper in my ear,
the voice of loneliness and fear, so I say:
“devil, disappear!
I’m still technically a virgin
after 27 years-
which never bothered me before,
what’s maybe 50 more?”
16
Feb 13
Feb 13
Grandpa in his younger days.
My favorite picture. I drew this today.
I am going to send it to my grandma.
11
Feb 13
Feb 13
I lost my grandpa.
I haven’t had much energy to do much…until today.
Maybe that is what New York is the best at. Kicking you back up.
I know he’d want me keep doing what I love and snap out of it.
So, I started again. Sorry for the missing days.
28
Jan 13
Jan 13
I gave it all up. I want my chance already…
This is my life. I am married to you.
This song is so beautiful.
Videotape
