Find someone real to love.
It won’t happen in NY.

“A man’s illness is his private territory and, no matter how much he loves you and how close you are, you stay an outsider. You are healthy.”

https://soundcloud.com/postiljonen

When nobody had time to reflect.
When nobody had time to help.

“I have a pack of letters,
I have a pack of memories.
I could cut out the eyes of both.
I could wear them like a patchwork apron.
I could stick them in the washer, the drier,
and maybe some of the pain would float off like dirt?
Perhaps down the disposal I could grind up the loss.
Besides – what a bargain – no expensive phone calls.
No lengthy trips on planes in the fog.
No manicky laughter or blessing from an odd-lot priest.
That priest is probably still floating on a fog pillow.
Blessing us. Blessing us.

Am I to bless the lost you,
sitting here with my clumsy soul?
Propaganda time is over.
I sit here on the spike of truth.
No one to hate except the slim fish of memory
that slides in and out of my brain.
No one to hate except the acute feel of my nightgown
brushing my body like a light that has gone out.
It recalls the kiss we invented, tongues like poems,
meeting, returning, inviting, causing a fever of need.
Laughter, maps, cassettes, touch singing its path -
all to be broken and laid away in a tight strongbox.
The monotonous dead clog me up and there is only
black done in black that oozes from the strongbox.
I must disembowel it and then set the heart, the legs,
of two who were one upon a large woodpile
and ignite, as I was once ignited, and let it whirl
into flame, reaching the sky
making it dangerous with its red. “

Retired people labored for perfection.
wow it is like my ex breaking my heart all over again…

You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.

Pop the molly I’m Sweatin’

I might be everything you need.
You might be the same for me.
We got out fast, burning at both ends.

Listen to this song : The Only Moment We Were Alone

“To get back to “long ago.”To yourself on a winter night
freezing in a thin red coat,and then a little lamp glass of
whiskey at your bedside. And the telephone ringing, always
there monitoring, as if it were your mother and father with
their outraged, punitive screams.You go like a thief to these
assignations with someone who belongs to another, or atleast
does not belong to you,you go slipping in the dark, groping
about, critically sighing.You go in like a thief and always
leave or are left as the robbed, thinking to look for your fake
diamond pin in its old box, check the liquor cabinet, open
the window and demand from the fleeing one the return of
your new radio.”

-passage from Sleepless Nights by Elizabeth Hardwick

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.”

I am sorry.

This video is awesome, so is she.
…and this made me laugh

“I feel the skin that separates us, start to fade
And when I lie on top of you, I’m afraid
I can see right through myself, crystal clear
I am disassembling
I could disappear, disappear”